1. |
Jimbo
07:52
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If ya drink – Don't drive
'n if ya drive – Don't drink
'n if ya fly....
don't fly too high.
Well Jimbo fixed the airplanes at the airport north o' town
He spent his nights at Brownie's drinkin' beer and whiskey down
Brownie's sat out past the fairgrounds 'cross the road from Dead Man's Hill
It looked condemned as you know bars and taverns sometimes will
It was late one Friday evenin' when Jimbo got the call
from a big time business man who had to be in Montreal
He said "My airplane's smokin' – spittin' oil out everywhere
and I'll give you a thousand dollars if you get it in the air"
Well Jimbo grabbed a six-pack and he said "I'll be right out"
'Twas just a simple twenty minute gasket job no doubt
Ah but Jimbo's mind was roamin' when he checked those engine seals
His head was filled with visions of one thousand dollar bills
CHORUS:
Hey Jimbo....
What're ya doin'......
Takin' a Sunday drive up in the sky?
Hey Jimbo....
Take it easy.....
You know you always fly a little high
When he was done he thought he'd take her up See how she flew
And then go back to Brownie's for some whiskey and a brew
He took it up and headed south Flew low above the town
He thought he'd take one sweep past Brownie's Then he'd set her down
Just a puttin' thru the ozone that balmy summers night
Jimbo didn't see the oil pressure droppin' outta sight
But he did smell somethin' smokin' and he felt that engine STOP
and all he heard was deathly silence as that plane began to drop
REPEAT CHORUS
So he grabbed a little tighter on that lever in his hand
and he started lookin' down there for a nice soft spot to land
Dead ahead was Dead Man's Hill He figured that was best
It was as straight as any runway though much steeper than the rest
By now the bar was really buzzin' Booze n' beer was flowin' free
The crowd had gotten HAPPY Adios sobriety
The band was playin' louder now and smoke hung in the air
Meanwhile Big Jim was hangin' lower now and he would soon be there
Now when that airplane hit that hill the landin' gear gave way
Just then the thought occurred to Jimbo – it wasn't Jimbo's day
His heart was beating faster and the sparks were flyin' bright
as Big Jim slid on down that hill at ninety mile an hour that night
'Twas just then a drunken deacon Backslid servant of the Lord
Out the window saw Jim comin' and was instantly restored
Meanwhile Big Jim just kept on slidin' 'cross the highway toward the bar
and he flipped that airplane over On Brownie's brand new car
Now all this made a crashing sound and everyone came out to see
They found Big Jim hangin' by his red suspenders in the tree
Sayin' "Could you get me down from here? I've got to make a call"
"I have bad news for a man who thinks he's goin' to Montreal"
So they shook him down 'n stood him up 'n got him to a phone
By now Big Jim could only shake his head and wish that he'd stayed home
He dialed that fellow's number Waved no thank you to some booze
and he said "My friend sit down I have some sobering bad news"
"You'd better tell your friends in Montreal that you just won't be there
Ya see I tried to fix your airplane But it's broke beyond repair
It's out in front of Brownie's bar on County Road 210
It's the only airplane there Parked on a black Mercedes Benz"
REPEAT CHORUS
Well things worked out for mostly everybody in the end
Insurance bought a brand new plane and the boss a brand new Benz
Big Jim did not fare quite so well as you might well have knowed
He had to pay the state a thousand bucks to fix the road
So these days Jimbo leaves the flyin' to the crazy flyin' fools
He spends a lot less time in aeroplanes and lots more time on stools
All they'll let him drink at Brownie's now is diet ginger ale
but he's ready any time to tell his thousand dollar tale
REPEAT CHORUS
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2. |
Steel Guitars in Heaven
02:04
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Well if there is no beer in heaven
ah that's alright by me
I've already had enough for all eternity
But when my time is over
I want you all to know
That if there ain't no steel guitars in heaven then I don't want to go
Yes I like to buy imported beer
but that's what money's for
Yes I like booze and I like broads but I like music more
Heaven here on earth must be
a Linda Ronstadt show
But if there ain't no steel guitars in heaven then I don't want to go
Guitar Break
Yes I do like Bob Wills' music
Hark the Texas Playboys sing
And I hope in heaven's Austin they'll be singin' for the King
And if Hank Williams died and went to hell
Lord I don't want to know
And if there ain't no steel guitars in heaven then I don't want to go
Yes heaven sounds just fine to me
There's only good folks there
Just walkin' down them golden streets without an earthly care
And I know that they've got trumpets there
The Bible tells me so
But if there ain't no steel guitars in heaven then I don't want to go
Yes if there ain't no steel guitars in heaven then I don't want to go
No if there ain't no steel guitars in heaven then I don't want to go
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3. |
Don't Take A Cab
03:56
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Now when I go out to party
I don't make too much sense
Some people just laugh at me
and others call me dense
I might be Skunk – Drunk – How do you do
at a party or the bar
But I always know when it's time to go
that I'm goin' home in my car
CHORUS:
I don't take no cab
Take a bus or the trolley
Take it from me
Oh the cab's not my folly
There's other ways
I walk I run
There has to be
I work off that flab
One for the road
Have a drink with my chums
And pay your tab
'Cause I don't want to be a bum
But brother please
Oh brother don't ever
Don't take no cab
Now my uncle Kevin had a bit of trouble
with the law here late one night
Yeah to save some money Kevin and the lady
took a cab home and shared the ride
And not to shirk – work – and to earn a big tip
the Cabby walked the lady to the door
And when he did Kevin slid in behind the wheel
'Cause he couldn't wait no more
CHORUS:
And he took that cab
Not the bus Not the trolley
Take it from me
Y'know the cab was his folly
There's other ways
He could've walked He coulda run
There has to be
Work off that flab
One for the road
Had a drink with his chums
And pay your tab
If you don't want to be a bum
But brother please
Oh brother don't ever
Don't take no cab
Well the long arm of the law
had all the facts to solve the crime
Kevin helped by givin' his name to the cabby
with his home address and time
Next morning it was Knock – Knock He said "Come on in"
and he was surely shocked to meet
A blue policeman askin' boo coo questions
about a cab parked down the street
CHORUS:
Did you take that cab, Son
Not the bus Not the trolley
Take it from me, Son
Oh the cab was his folly
There were other ways, Son
You could've walked You coulda run
There had to be, Son
Walk off that flab
One for the road, Son
Had a drink with your chums
And pay your tab, Son
If you don't want to be a bum
But Son please
Oh Son don't ever
Don't take no cab
So folks I hope you've learned your lesson
from this sad and sorry tale
You better keep it straight when it gets too late
or switch to ginger ale
Yes Think – Twice – if it's worth the price
of a ride home in a cab
If you don't want your prints in a file downtown
and your breath down at the lab
CHORUS:
Don't take no cab
Take a bus Take a trolley
Take it from me
Oh the cab was his folly
There's other ways
He could've walked He coulda run
There has to be
Work off that flab
One for the road
Have a drink with your chums
And pay your tab
If you don't want to be a bum
But brother please
Oh visit him in prison
Don't take no cab
A cab driver – Once more 'round the block
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4. |
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Grab your coat and get your hat
Leave your worries on the doorstep
Just direct your feet
To the sunny side of the street
Can't you hear a pitter-pat?
And that happy tune is your step
Life can be so sweet
On the sunny side of the street
I used to walk in the shade
With those blues on parade
But I'm not afraid
This Rover crossed over
If I never have a cent
I'll be rich as Rockefeller
Gold dust at my feet
On the sunny side of the street
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5. |
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Hey! buddy, have you seen the bus to city hall go by?
I've been cheatin' on my taxes so that I can pay the fare
I've been lyin' to my mother, I've been stealin' from my brother
Have you seen the bus to city hall? They're waitin' for me there
It's election time again. There's stickers on the bumpers,
faces on the billboards, speeches being made
Someone's lyin', someone's buyin', levers are bein' pulled,
and we're all in the politics parade
Hey! buddy, have you seen the bus to city hall go by?
I even took a course in acting, so that I might seem sincere
I've been kissin' all the babies, complementin' all the ladies
Have you seen the bus to city hall? I think it comes by here
It's election time again. There's faces on the billboards,
stickers on the bumpers, people bein' swayed,
speeches bein' made, opponents being splayed
as spurious claims are made
Someone's buyin', someone's lyin', levers are bein' pulled,
and we're all in the politics parade
Yes it's election time again. There's stickers on the bumpers,
faces on the billboards, speeches being made,
options bein' weighed, trump cards bein' played,
kittens being spayed,
Someone's lyin', someone's buyin', levers are bein' pulled,
and we're all in the politics parade
Hey! buddy, have you seen the bus to city hall go by?
I've been cheatin' on my taxes so that I can pay the fare
I've been lyin' to my mother, I've been stealin' from my brother
Have you seen the bus to city hall? They're waitin' for me there
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6. |
Wonderin' Why
03:46
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I'm all alone
I'm on this cold stone highway ridin' high
I'm watchin' mother nature
paintin' pictures on the sky
Yes and I've been down this road before
it was a long long time ago
Now I'm wonderin' why I'm wonderin'
about a girl I used to know
There was a time when time was plenty
But time has taken its toll
It's been hard on my body
and even harder on my soul
I should've told her I loved her
a long long time ago
Now I'm wonderin' why I'm wonderin'
about a girl I used to know
There's a lot of things that might have been
that ain't been And that won't change
I could've been a cowboy
smokin' stogies on the range
But for now I read the highway signs
while the sun is sinkin' slow
Wonderin' why I'm wonderin'
about a girl I used to know
I never would admit
how good things might have been
And then I really don't believe
she'll ever come my way again
I know it's true But I go back to you
every time I'm feelin' low
Wonderin' why I'm wonderin' why
about a girl I used to know
So for now I read the highway signs
while the sun is sinkin' slow
Just wonderin' why I'm wonderin' why
about a girl I used to know
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7. |
Meet Me in St. Louis
03:09
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When Louis came home to the flat
He took off his coat and his hat
He looked all around, but no wifey he found
So he said "Where can Flossie be at?"
A note on the table he spied
He read it just once, then he cried
It ran, "Louis dear, it's too slow for for me hear
So I think I will go for a ride"
"Meet me in St. Louis, Louis
Meet me at the fair
Don't tell me the lights are shining
Any place but there
We will dance the Hoochee Koochee
I will be your tootsie wootsie
If you will meet in St. Louis, Louis
Meet me at the fair"
The dresses that hung in the hall
Were gone, she had taken them all
She took all his rings and the rest of his things
The picture he missed from the wall
"What! moving!" the janitor said,
"Your rent is paid three months ahead"
"What good is the flat?" said poor Louis, "Read that"
And the janitor smiled as he read
"Meet me in St. Louis, Louis
Meet me at the fair
Don't tell me the lights are shining
Any place but there
We will dance the Hoochee Koochee
I will be your tootsie wootsie
If you will meet in St. Louis, Louis
Meet me at the fair"
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8. |
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Well, the birds still sing when the sky gets blue
Oh, yes, and I still dream as much as I used to
But it's a sweeter dream and a sadder song
And a deeper blue since you've been gone
Since you've been gone, since you've been gone
Ain't nothin' right, ain't nothin' wrong
Days roll by, miles roll on
But I don't know why since you've been gone
Well, I don't like guitars and I don't like beer
Wouldn't want no pretty woman whisperin' in my ear
Don't care for brown, don't care for blue
Don't care for nothin' and I especially do not care for you
(and if you believe that I have some swamp land for sale)
Since you've been gone, since you've been gone
Ain't nothin' right, ain't nothin' wrong
Days roll by, miles roll on
But I don't know why since you've been gone
Well I watched the news again last night
And you know the president says things are gonna be alright
Now for him, that may be true
But for me it's just the rest of my lifetime without you
Since you've been gone, since you've been gone
Ain't nothin' right, ain't nothin' wrong
Days roll by, miles roll on
But I don't know why since you've been gone
And I watched the news again today
And you know the president said things are gonna be okay
Well for him, that may be so
Ah, but for me okay went bye-bye long ago
Since you've been gone, since you've been gone
Ain't nothin' right, ain't nothin' wrong
Days roll by, miles roll on
But I don't know why since you've been gone
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9. |
Lookin' For Paradise
02:43
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Fences and attitudes keep us apart
Compromise tends to wear thin
He heard her knockin' at the door of his heart
but in the end he could not let her in
It happens too often when it happens to you
Too often it's happened to me
And I've been the villain
and I've been the victim
and I've been the blind referee
CHORUS:
I'd like to quit lookin' for paradise
or find it.. one of the two
But I can't
and I won't
and I can't understand
how the best is the best you can do
It's a hard thing to hear when a friend puts you down
It's a pretty bad feeling to fight
Like an outlaw with orders to get out of town
Oh my ain't it cold out tonight
Mostly it's misunderstanding I guess
Mostly it's nothing at all
and you never miss August
or the smell of fresh hay
'Til November when the snow starts to fall
REPEAT CHORUS:
I'd like to quit lookin' for paradise
or find it.. one of the two
But I can't
and I won't
and I can't understand
how the best is the best you can do
And they tell me eternity still is the same
after you cut it in two
But I can't understand – No I can't understand
how the best is the best you can do
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Bill Schachter Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Bill Schachter (1953–2021) also known as Bicycle Bill, Dollar Bill, Binomial Bill, Bike, Common Bill, Brother Bill, Citizen Bill, Chilly Billy, Bike Bill, Wild Bill, Badass Bill, Bible Bill, Segue Sam, Bituminous Bill, Billy, and Glitch was an American musician, singer & songwriter. ... more
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